And the big theme was the power of staying grounded, really sitting in difficult or challenging client meetings, rather than letting the red mist descend.

What the group found was that the more they showed up calm, centred, open – when a challenge arose they were able to meet it with curiosity, an acceptance of “so this is happening, what now?” rather than the “here they go again” irritation that can so often arise. 😒

It’s certainly something I’ve been exploring in my own life. When I hit frustration or irritation, if I can, I catch it and rather than letting it loop me into a story about how terrible everything is – the internal dialogue version of a doom scroll – I stop, tune in to what the feeling is and decide to accept it. ✔️

It sounds ridiculously simplistic but what I find is, as did this group of leaders, that when you let go of the fight and the resistance, something changes.

And the simplest description of how to do this comes from the thinker Pete Russell.

Rather than trying to “let it go,” Frozen style… Pete suggests first “let it in” – allow yourself to experience the feeling, to notice it. 

Then “let it be” – accept it exactly as if you’d wished it. This acceptance releases the struggle, the story, the self loathing. ✨

When you soften in a moment you could be braced – you show up more open, less fixed, less braced for impact. And that has a transformative impact on others. When you show up as if the situation is exactly what you’ve asked for (I accept this is sometimes a stretch) you equip yourself with the resources to deal with it better.

And you save all the energy that would have gone onto the resistance. ⚡

And what these leaders discovered – when the resistance moves on, influence moves in. Rather than fighting what is, you look for a way through to what could be. 🧐

When you accept it as if you’ve asked for it – things change.

All my best,

Caroline. x