Q: “Have you any recommendations for “holding it together” and NOT crying when delivering an immensely emotional presentation? You likely know the feeling: throat starts closing, eyes burning, you feel as if you are standing on the edge of a cliff and are about to fall over into a bone fide sob. How to keep yourself from falling over the edge? (And yes, I know it would be a good time to pause and breathe. But anything else you could suggest?)”

A: It’s a hard one isn’t it? Because by definition it’s in the moments that matter most, that we feel the most emotion. At the very moment you most want to speak with power and composure – the eulogy, the wedding speech, the tribute– your voice starts to wobble, and your emotion threatens to become a tsunami that sweeps you away.

Here are three very practical ways to get the control back in the moment:

First – give yourself some distance. Imagine that you are looking down on yourself from space, from a satellite. Notice how that dials it down.

Second – give it a name. Naming it can reframe it, and lessen its control over you.

So, give it a stupid name like Mr. Squishy. Or a friend of mine suggests thinking of a random politician for whom you feel no emotion (she suggests former Labour minister John Prescott. You can choose anyone, as long as they make you feel precisely…nothing.)

I hope these help you.