They lose their natural smile and spark. I call this either armouring up, or you can call it putting on the mask. 

It’s like a protection against the world. It’s a really natural thing to do, but what I’m hearing from clients right now is that when we do the opposite in the spotlight, when we open up, when we allow, in a managed way, our feelings to come through, when we allow ourselves to be just the right amount of open and vulnerable and heartfelt. 

That’s really resonating with audiences. 

When leaders drop ‘the mask’ the audience lights up. The unexpected story about what you love, the learning, the moment in your life where you discovered something powerful. Something you care about, something you dream of those deeply human things are what audiences are really craving right now. The bit that AI can’t do. Because it’s felt, sensed, human. Charged with emotion. 

And to my mind, the very fact there’s a lot of negative unmasking right now…leaders showing greed and narcissism means all the more reason for us to drop the mask in a more positive way. 

There was no better example of the power of dropping the mask in a way that builds connection than Jessie Buckley at the Oscars last Sunday. In a formal frock in front of a room full of formal (frozen) faces she was open, emotional and powerful, and it was truly magical to see. 

I’m not a fan of Oscar speeches. They are often dull, a performance of thank yous from some of the best performers out there. They have such a stock shape and structure and always come across as more job interview than speech, a long list of thank yous to shore up the next job from people already polished at putting on the mask. 

But when someone is truly connected, honest and present in a formal moment, it’s so powerful and massively underrated. I saw that in Jessie Buckley. She spoke about what she’d learned from Maggie O’Farrell’s Agnes; tenderness, vulnerability, strength. Love in all its epic colours.

On that stage, you could see she was feeling a lot, winning the best actress Oscar for a film about motherhood, as the mother to a baby daughter who’d just got her first tooth. I loved how she handled it. She breathed, grounded herself and let the charge of the emotion move through into her. She channelled it into naming the people who mattered to her. Jessie Buckley named those she loves and what they mean to her. She spoke to her husband directly, looking for her family in the crowd. She connected. 

So how do you do it? 

Open Up: The mask lives in contraction: tight jaw, held breath, control. Our ability to drop the mask lives in expansion. When it comes to noticing the mask, first notice the tension. For me I notice it in my jaw, my shoulders, my chest, my face. I release that tension, I move, stretch, breathe before I speak. I check in on what the fear is. What am I fearful of? Being judged, not sounding expert enough, losing control?

Ground: The safer your nervous system feels, the easier you find the flow. Emotion travels through you. Plug in ground your feet – then let the charge flow through you and out. Jessie took a moment to breathe it in deeply…then as you breathe out, imagine sending it down through your body, out through your feet and into the ground. This way you’re letting it move through you and releasing it into the world. 

Name It: You can channel the charge of emotion in your words too 

✔️ If you’re feeling something, name it. 

✔️ If you’re nervous say “I’m really excited to be here.” 

✔️ If you’re emotional say “I’m finding this really moving.” 

When you acknowledge the feeling, there’s no need to hide behind a mask. 

Have A Plan: It’s worth naming that you freestyle better when you have a plan, a sense of why you are speaking, who for, what you want your audience to leave with. It’s more jazz than classical music, because you feel and respond and flow. That’s congruence, and we love it as an audience. 

Masks are self conscious, perfectionist in nature. They hide us. Emotion cracks us open, reveals us. Presence and honesty connects us. Makes us more human. More human matters now. When Jessie Buckley speaks about tenderness, vulnerability and strength, it sounds like a contradiction, but right now they work together. I’m feeling this shift more and more. In a world where AI is everywhere, gravitas isn’t about the polish, the fine words and the formality as much. What’s mattering more is your connection to the moment, your ability to be at home in your own skin. 

That’s the quality that robots can’t achieve.